I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
