Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
