I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
