I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
