I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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