Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
