hell yes lets make some ravioli
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
