I'm eating all of the evidence.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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