It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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