Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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