I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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