I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
