Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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