I can tuck mytits in my pants
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
