omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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