Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
