Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize