he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
