I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This is my gift to your gina
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
