I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
