I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
