you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Boobs are out for the taking
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
