its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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