"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
