During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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