Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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