Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
