WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
