I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
