i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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