is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
