The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize