P.S. I can't hear my feet
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
