she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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