I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
