I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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