this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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