You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
