This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
