he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
