I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
