I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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