that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
