he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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