He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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