Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
