she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
