If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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