I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
