i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
