U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im part way to drunk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
