So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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