Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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