i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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