i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
