Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
