The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
