lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
